Help

Maybe you haven’t seen me dwell so much on such serious matters, but as far as I want to keep this thingy in my chest, please just let me whine for once. Thanks.

There’s just too much pressure going on right now, and I cannot. I don’t know. I’ve been attending college review, and being seated beside girls in the honor roll is seriously not helping. Seeing them pass each and every quiz is like a slap on the face to me. And not to mention, on my way home, just when I got inside the car, feeling edgy and all, my dad starts preaching about college shenanigans. I’m starting to feel like it’s such a shame to be too panicky about this college thing. It’s like I’m too disturbed with this matter. I feel like I’m alone in this. I’d like to believe that everyone’s destined for such great things, and that, all of us will be placed where we’re supposed to be, but it’s like all the current happenings are trying to tell me otherwise.

At the bottom of my heart, I’d like to apologize in for these whiney words. I just feel like I’m not keeping up with anything or anyone anymore.

Help.

Morning Face

She woke up at exactly 10:01 am wondering why she could hear nothing but this weird tugging sound in her head. She tried to go back to sleep, and struggled not to mind this. At exactly 1:15 pm she woke up with this again. She tried to sleep once more, but this strange sound kept her up. Yet again, she took no notice of this and immediately went downstairs to grab something to eat. She started becoming ill-tempered when she saw her siblings’ toys scattered all around the floor. She shouted, and called for her siblings to make them clean their mess up, but there was no response. This made her feel a little bit foggy and anxious. Everyone was missing, and she had no idea where they went, and so she decided to just shake it off and read her favorite book. Her attention got a little bit drawn, but the strange sound went back again. She played music and put it on full blast to make her forget it, but it kept coming after her. She closed her eyes, desperate and fighting to make this strange sound go away. But then again, she woke up at exactly 10:01 am, wondering why she could hear nothing but this weird tugging sound in her head. 

Walking

Around they go as accidental strangers pass by

The space between them is visible

It seems like its been a thousand years

since they both kept the silence

that’s been veiled inside their hearts

Gibberish lines

that make perfect sense

Songs that sounded so precious

The lights are blinding

The stars are dancing

over their troubled heads

And they both knew.

False lovely story

It happened in the evening when he eyed her head to toe while putting his glasses into place. He immediately looked away when she looked at him. It was sort of a staring game at first, until she found him changing the song to “This Charming Man.” Looking down while nodding her head to Morrissey’s atypical voice, she laughed to herself and joined the chatter of the crowd. She sees him walking alone at the back of the crowd, and by chance they both caught each other looking. She starts to wonder what he’s up to, and unexpectedly, he flashes a pleasant beam on his face. He went five steps closer to her, looked down, and does this odd gesture with his feet. She’s amused at how awkward he stirred, and how he could not look into her eyes.

They got lost in the sound.

Bakanteng Upuan

Mga bandang hapon, nananahimik akong umupo sa isang tabi, hiyang hiya sa lahat ng taong nakapaligid sakin. Mamaya maya, may babaing tumabi sa akin, medyo may hawig kay Beyonce, katamtaman ang tangkad, malaki ang pwetan, malaki ang labi, may pagkahaba ang buhok, at may hawak hawak na pyesang lukot lukot na hindi ko maintindihan. Tiningnan niya ako habang ipinapakita ang kanyang malaking ngiti. Ako’y napatitig sa kanyang ngipin. Sobrang puti. Kinalabit niya ko, at pinagpatuloy ang pagtitig sa akin.

Ilang taon ang nakalipas, napaupo ulit ako sa upuan na iyon habang hawak ang pyesang lukot lukot na aking pilit na iniintindi. Punong puno ng kasiyahan ang kwarto, punong puno ng boses na nagsasabay sabay. Napatingin ako sa bakanteng upuan sa aking kanan, at natawa ng tahimik.

Hinihintay at napapaisip kung kailan niya ako tatabihang muli.

Sudden raindrops

Drip, drop, drip, drop.

I start to notice the rain. It’s getting closer. The woman’s voice starts to lose its color.

Drip, drop, drip, drop.

Everything budges slower than usual.

Drip, drop, drip, drop.

The pale girl gazes at me with dead eyes.

Drip, drop, drip, drop.

Suddenly, everything was beautiful.

Drip, drop, drip, drop.

The bell crashes from a distance. All the images walk off.

A man’s toy truck

When a boy receives a toy truck for his birthday gift, what does he do with it? Does he keep it inside the box? Does he stare at it for a very long time, not knowing what to do with it? Nope. He dashes to his parents, starts asking for batteries, puts it in the toy truck, and play ‘til he feels accomplished. Same goes with people and their talents. People who choose to keep their talents all locked up inside a box don’t get to enjoy the toy that was given to them. People who stare at their talents just end up having it, not using it. We as human beings must be able to utilize our skills and talents given to us by Him. These aren’t given to us for no reason at all. We are expected to make good use out of skills, we are to share something, and we use these talents to be of help to the people surrounding us.

Draw something that would remove a cold heart. Write something that would open someone’s mind. Use your guitar and start pleasing the ears of many. Dance and encourage people to move.

It’s about time you open the box and do something worthwhile out of the toy truck that was given to you.

In the photo: Meg De Nys, Pauline Rana, Angelica Diza, Angica Valdez 

Photo by Ayn Ledina 

Edited by Pauline Rana